There's an unspoken rule for women who seem to have it all together: you smile through pain, power through your struggles, and you definitely don't admit — out loud — that sometimes you just want to give up.

Stephanie Zubiri broke that rule. And now she's helping other women break it too.

For a little over two decades, Stephanie has built a multi-hyphenate career: travel and culture journalist, an award-winning author behind the "Feast With Me" cookbook and the "Chalky the Chameleon" children's book, a former magazine editor, TV host, and entrepreneur, and chef-owner of a restaurant, "Atelier 317."

Her stacked resume reads like a career most people spend a lifetime chasing.

Somewhere between it all, amidst the COVID-19 pandemic, Stephanie was quietly falling apart. Her marriage ended in 2019, leaving her to parent her two sons, Seb and Max, largely on her own — and to face depression, postpartum depression, and anxiety in a society that tells women to suffer in silence.

Looking back, she wishes someone was there to tell her she wasn't alone. And that's who she's become for other women now.

Through her podcast, "Soulful Feasts," and the Soulful Journeys wellness retreats and workshops she now leads, Stephanie has turned her own healing — therapy, yoga, Reiki, meditation, and the slow, unglamorous work of rebuilding oneself — into a roadmap for women who don't know where to begin or are afraid to say out loud that they need help.

"There is something extraordinary that happens when one woman tells the truth," Stephanie tells The Beat Asia. "The moment one person says 'me too,' everyone else realizes they're not alone."

In this exclusive interview, The Beat Asia sits down with Soulful Feasts Founder Stephanie Zubiri to talk about her healing journey, why she chose to speak publicly about her darkest moments, the difference between generosity and self-abandonment, and what she'd say to any woman standing exactly where she once stood.

You've spoken about battling depression, postpartum depression, and anxiety. Many women carry these and suffer in silence; what finally made you decide to speak about it openly?

It was really important for me to speak about it because when I was going through my own depression, nobody was really talking about it.

This was ten or twelve years ago, long before the pandemic. There wasn't nearly as much awareness around mental health as there is today. We were very much living in hustle culture, and I was raised with that mentality of: "Don't air your dirty laundry in public." You grin and bear it. Struggle was seen as a weakness.

I just remember feeling so incredibly alone. And even when I was exploring "new age" kind of healing modalities, I didn't feel like I could openly share because people wouldn't understand [then].

But even though we've made so much progress and mental health is far more openly discussed today, so many still carry shame around what they're going through. We still think we should brush it off, power through it, or simply pray harder. And while prayer, spirituality, and different healing practices can absolutely be part of the journey, the first step is really acceptance.

It's being able to say: "I'm struggling. I'm going through something," and then having the courage to ask for help.

That's especially true for women because we're often made to feel like we're not allowed to say certain things out loud. We're not allowed to admit that we're unhappy in our marriage, unhappy in our lives, that we want more, that we love our children but also want a career, or that we're simply confused about who we are and what we need.

By speaking honestly about my own experience, another woman might hear it and think that it's okay and they're not alone. We're allowed to not always be strong, to feel afraid, to want more, to not always be the rock and pillar of the family.

Our needs matter too.

Women are often expected to keep giving. How did you learn the difference between generosity and giving too much of yourself?

It's very simple: we give from our overflow. Now, I know that's much easier said than done.

A very concrete example is being generous with your time and emotional energy. Let's say you have someone who always comes to you with their problems. Generosity is sitting down with them and hearing them out, offering your presence and compassion, and maybe helping them think through possible solutions.

But solving the problem for them, constantly rescuing them, or repeatedly giving them money or other things at your own expense isn't always generosity. It's overgiving. And you need to ask yourself: "Why do we feel compelled to step in and save the day? Where is this coming from?"

The same is true emotionally. If someone is processing a situation that triggers your own trauma, then there may come a point where listening turns into reopening your own wounds. You can tell them that you care and you can spend time together, but they deserve support from someone who's equipped to help them.

That isn't abandoning someone. It's taking both of your well-being into consideration.

The line is simple: When does giving stop feeling expansive and start feeling depleting? When does it stop bringing joy and begin to feel like a burden? Only you can answer that; no one can draw that line for you. But generosity should leave your heart feeling open, not resentful.

How beautiful it is to be generous in spirit. But when the relationship becomes vampiric, when someone is constantly drawing from you without taking responsibility for their own healing or growth, that's no longer generosity. That's over-giving. And only you can decide where that boundary is.

You've said that we can't pour from an empty cup. For women who feel guilty about choosing themselves, what would you want them to understand about self-love and self-preservation?

Giving from our overflow means keeping our cup full. Because if we keep giving from our own cup, eventually it will empty. Eventually, we'll be drained. So it's important that we give from a place of fullness, knowing our needs are met, our energy is replenished, and we have the capacity to genuinely be there for someone else.

Self-love isn't selfish. It's the foundation that allows us to truly love everyone else. When we honor our own needs, we become more patient, more present, and more generous because we're no longer giving from a place of exhaustion.

There's often pressure to "bounce back" after difficult or complex life transitions. What did healing actually look like for you in practice?

Healing didn't look beautiful. It wasn't one breakthrough moment where suddenly everything was okay. It looked like therapy, yoga, Reiki, prayer, meditation. But it also looked like chowing down on pad thai while binge-watching sad movies. It mostly looked like crying on the bathroom floor. More importantly, it looked like asking for help when every part of me wanted to isolate.

It also meant learning to stop seeing healing as something I had to complete before I could start living again.

Healing isn't linear. It's cyclical. Some days you feel light and free, and other days, an old wound surprises you. That doesn't mean you've failed. It simply means another layer is asking to be seen.

Eventually, I stopped asking, "When will I be healed?" and started asking, "What is this moment asking me to learn?" And that changed everything.

After turning 40, you've spoken about learning to "hold space" for your body even on the days you don't feel your best. In a world that's constantly telling women to look younger or more put-together, what does self-love look like in your daily life?

Here's a funny story: I finally got a few strands of white hair on my temples. It started with one or two; I kept plucking them self-consciously. Then eventually, more sprouted, and I was like, "OMG, they're taking revenge!" I kept going back to the hairdresser to dye them. He told me to stop plucking, or they'll become wiry and unruly; just accept them, and we can manage them better. So while more grew and I do dye them, it no longer bothers me to see them. In fact, I look at them fondly and think: "Okay, my badge of honor. I am truly entering my wild woman and crone era."

Self-love isn't looking in the mirror and pretending to love every inch of myself every single day. It's choosing kindness. It's holding space for my body, especially on the days I don't feel my best.

This body has carried children. It has gone through grief. It has brought me joy. It's helped me get through some of the darkest moments of my life. The least I can do is meet it with compassion. It's not something to fix. It's my home, a temple I can care for.

You've said that "We only attract the kind of relationships that we think we deserve." How did you begin to believe you deserved more?

It began when I realized the relationship I have with myself sets the standard for every other relationship in my life. When I stopped abandoning myself, I also stopped accepting situations that required me to shrink. It's not that I suddenly became more confident overnight. I simply began listening to my soul more deeply. Little by little, I trusted my inner voice instead of my fears. And that's where self-worth really begins.

I often ask women to think of the person they love the most, someone they love unconditionally. Then I ask them: "Can you love yourself back in the same way? Can you see yourself the way you see this person? Can you value yourself the way you value them?" If the answer is no, then that's where the work begins.

Because all of our relationships are reflections of how we see and value ourselves. When a relationship asks you to shrink or compromise who you truly are, and you genuinely value yourself, you'll naturally push back. You'll say, "No, this is who I am. These are my needs." If the person in front of you truly loves you, they will hear you and see you and accept you for exactly who you are instead of trying to change you or project onto you who they want you to be.

You almost have to fight for your whole, unconditional presence in a relationship. Only when you truly love yourself in that way can you ask for that kind of love from someone else. Otherwise, you'll keep making yourself smaller. You'll keep accepting little compromises until one day you no longer recognize yourself.

And I think the key element here is trust. Trust that the person you love can hear your needs and they can love you for who you really are. If you're constantly afraid that they'll leave if they see the real you, that they'll get angry if you express what you need, or if you'll lose the relationship by being fully yourself, then perhaps that's a relationship worth questioning. And that applies not only to romantic relationships, but even to friendships, family, and more.

My invitation is this: be fearlessly yourself. And trust that love is far more powerful than fear.

You turned to Jungian therapy, yoga, Reiki, and meditation as pillars of your healing. For women who are just starting their journey, where would you suggest they begin?

Begin with one small act of honesty. Tell yourself. Tell someone. Tell a therapist. Tell a trusted friend. Healing doesn't begin with the perfect modality; it begins the moment you start pretending you're okay. For me, these were all important parts of my journey, but I don't believe there's one universal path. There are so many ways to heal, and the important thing is simply to begin.

I would also encourage people to spend time in nature or at least be inspired by it. Nature has this incredible ability to regulate our nervous system and remind us that everything moves in seasons. Sometimes moving in nature reconnects you to something much bigger than yourself.

And most importantly, don't try to do it alone. Healing isn't a solo journey; we all need people who can walk beside us.

Your work today seems rooted in connection and creating spaces for women to feel seen. What made you realize that community, not independence alone, was an important part of healing?

Healing doesn't happen in isolation. For the longest time, I thought strength meant figuring everything out on my own, and I thought asking for help somehow meant I had failed. But healing accelerated the moment I allowed other people to witness me, to be seen without judgment.

Women have gathered in circles for thousands of years. We heal through story, witnessing, remembering that we're not the only ones carrying grief, shame, or uncertainty. The moment one woman tells the truth, another woman finds permission to tell hers. The very first time I shared openly about my trauma with sexual abuse, other women did too. And together, we felt seen and held.

Community reminds us that we don't have to carry life alone, and wisdom unfolds in the power of the circle.

Soulful Feasts has grown into more than a podcast. It's become a space for women to reconnect with themselves. What kind of listener did you have in mind when you first created it?

Soulful Feasts began as a place for me to talk about the things I was curious about. It was a chance to meet people and experts I admired and have conversations I genuinely wanted to have. At first, it was really about nourishing the body, mind, and spirit.

Today, Soulful Feasts is really about nourishing the soul.

It's for the woman standing at the threshold, who has begun to feel the discomfort of growth. I often think of a snake shedding its skin. That process isn't graceful or comfortable. There's friction, resistance, and sometimes, even shame in letting go of the old version of yourself before you're fully certain of who you're becoming.

That's who I create Soulful Feasts for.

She's asking the difficult questions, navigating change — whether that's love, heartbreak, divorce, motherhood, career, identity, or purpose — and searching for what it means to become a whole, sovereign woman.

What conversations have surprised or changed you the most since starting it?

One conversation that will always stay with me was with Janine Khazaie, Founder of Massage Manila and Khozy Lounge. I had originally invited her to talk about her entrepreneurial "rags-to-riches" journey. Her son had been born prematurely, and they had gone completely bankrupt trying to keep him alive. She built everything from the ground up and today has created an incredibly successful business and a beautiful life for her family.

I thought that was going to be the conversation. Instead, she told me she wanted to talk about something else. She shared that she had been sexually abused by her stepfather throughout her childhood. I was completely floored by her extraordinary courage.

So many women have experienced sexual abuse or violence, yet so few feel able to speak about it openly. The shame is still often placed on the survivor instead of the perpetrator, and I think that's something we desperately need to change. Watching her reclaim her story with such honesty reminded me why these conversations matter.

Are there moments in your retreats and workshops that exemplify this energy of women gathering to reflect and heal together?

There is something extraordinary that happens when one woman tells the truth. Everyone realizes they're not alone. I've seen women arrive carrying decades of shame and leave with lifelong friendships.

One moment that stays with me happened during one of our retreats. A woman in her seventies, who had recently lost her husband, allowed herself to fully grieve in front of the group for the first time. There wasn't anyone trying to fix her or rush her through it. We simply witnessed her with love. That is the power of community.

Healing isn't found simply in advice. It's found in being deeply seen.

If you could sit across from a woman who is, right now, in the place you were at your lowest, what would you say to her?

I would probably take her hands and say: "Girl, you are absolutely perfect just the way you are. Respect yourself. Honor the season that you're in. And know that you are not broken.

"You're just like a caterpillar in a chrysalis, in the midst of becoming this wonderful butterfly. And my dear, this cycle will come over and over again. You will keep transforming, alchemizing, and becoming more and more of yourself.

"Trust the process. Trust that you are not alone. Trust that so many have felt this way too. Please, speak up. Reach out. You will find help that is there. Support is there. Trust that people who truly love you will continue to love you throughout your different transformations, throughout your whole journey.

"Honor your soul. Take the space that you need. Give yourself the space to listen to the whispers of your soul. Hold your heart. Cherish your physical temple. And simply allow the unfolding of the beauty that is you."

You've said that "everything will happen in its own good time." And that there's no need to force or struggle, just flow. For the woman reading this who feels like she's running out of time to put herself back together, what's the one thing you want her to walk away believing?

Life isn't a race. Nature has never rushed a flower into bloom, and yet every season arrives exactly when it's meant to. We often think we're behind because we're comparing our timeline to someone else's, but your soul has its own timing.

Trust that even when nothing seems to be happening on the surface, so much is happening beneath it. Just because you can't see the blossom doesn't mean the roots aren't growing.

Everything that is meant for you will unfold in its own good time. Your only job is to keep showing up with an open heart and trust the unfolding.

You've worn so many hats over the years. Looking back, which version of yourself feels the most authentic today, and why?

The Stephanie that feels most authentic today is the one who can sit in her bathrobe with messy hair and not feel pressured to look or be like anyone else. I've stopped trying to fit myself into one consistent version of who I think I should be. Each different version of myself is true; each one reflects who I'm feeling or who I'm being in that moment.

We're made up of so many fragments of our lives. We're more like a mosaic, really. Or if you think of a jewel, we each have different facets and every one catches the light differently.

So the most authentic Stephanie today is the one who embraces the beautifully haphazard nature of her life.

She's the woman in stilettos, standing in a boardroom facilitating a workshop. She's in flowy yoga pants, holding space in a women's circle. She's in a bathrobe answering interview questions. She's in ratty shorts and unkempt hair, cooking dinner for her kids. She's the sensual woman dancing barefoot and howling at the moon.

All of those women are me. And all of them are authentic.

You've built a life that integrates spirituality, storytelling, motherhood, and advocacy. What does the next chapter of your story look like?

I'm constantly writing new chapters. For a long time, I used to chastise myself and think, "Why can't I just stick to one thing?" But I've really embraced the Manifesting Generator that I am. I love creating and crafting new projects. I've realized that storytelling can span so many different mediums, and I've finally given myself permission to express myself more freely.

That said, I've been working on a long-term project, a book that will be out early next year. I'm so excited to share it because I hope women will see parts of themselves in its pages and feel less alone.

Our Soulful Journeys retreats have become something I'm incredibly proud of. No wellness retreat is the same. But we have an upcoming one this October in Australia.

We're also preparing to launch our Hot & Healing Club, an online membership portal where people can access exclusive content and masterclasses, not just from me but from other practitioners.

The idea is to make this work far more accessible. Not everyone can join a retreat, but that shouldn't mean they can't continue their own journey. I hope the membership becomes another way of reminding people that transformation doesn't have to happen all at once. It can happen wherever you are, one small step at a time.

From Oct. 15 to 20, 2026, Stephanie is expanding her Soulful Journeys retreat series with "Enliven the Dream," a five-night pilgrimage through Queensland, Australia. The itinerary moves from three nights at Beechmont Estate to two nights at the Emporium Hotel South Bank in Brisbane.

Threaded through the retreat is Stephanie's Soulful Embodiment Practice, combined with Dreamtending. Guests can expect breathwork, meditation, forest bathing, and a series of Indigenous-led cultural experiences.

For more information and updates, follow Stephanie Zubiri and Soulful Feasts on Instagram.