Coach Vee on Love, Relationships, and Dating with Intention
With February creeping closer, love and dating are becoming hot topics once more. Love might be in the air this Valentine’s season, but dating in the Philippines is definitely changing.
Recent data shows a 10.2% drop in marriages from 2023 to 2024, signaling a shift in how Filipinos approach love, commitment, and long-term relationships. According to the United Nations' 2021 data, nearly half of Filipinos are single, leading the Southeast Asian rankings. Today, many are at the mercy of dating apps, which have become one of the most convenient ways to meet new people romantically or simply broaden their connections.
In Bumble’s inaugural Modern Relationship Study in 2021, nearly half of Filipinos surveyed (49%) said they believe it’s possible to find love through dating apps. The study also revealed a clear shift toward intentional dating, with over 53% of respondents looking for serious relationships — far outweighing those seeking something casual, which stood at just 18%.
With more singles choosing to take their time, date intentionally, or explore modern romance through apps, setups, and social circles, the dating scene — especially in Manila — has become more nuanced than ever.
So, instead of guessing our way through mixed signals and dating dilemmas, we went straight to an expert. In our latest exclusive, we sat down with Vanessa Antonio, a.k.a. Coach Vee, a US-certified dating coach and founder of Matchmaking Manila, to help decode how dating really works today and how singles can actually find a match that sticks.
In our conversation, we dive into the realities of the Manila dating scene, what singles are truly looking for right now, some modern dating challenges, and how dating in the country has evolved over the years. Coach Vee also shared more about her coaching program, which is rooted in self-development — transforming individuals into people who genuinely love themselves and are ready to love others. For her, dating isn’t just about chance encounters or good chemistry… It’s a strategy, and something you have to intentionally work on to make real magic happen.
Helping Singles in Manila Since 2014
Coach Vee started her dating business twelve years ago with Singles Event Manila, for the sole reason of creating an avenue for people to meet. Back then, dating apps were just gaining popularity, and the only other way to meet new people was through “Speed Dating,” which she found ineffective when it came to finding a good match.
“I felt like there were so many successful, beautiful people who were ready for love, but they couldn't find love. So the idea was, 'Why don't we just bring all single people who are on the same wavelength in one room?' I felt that if you put them together, the couples or the matches would just naturally appear.”
Coach Vee further explained that speed dating often only gives you five minutes of talking time before moving to the next person, compared to her events, where people get to connect better and spend more time getting to know someone through fun games and talking sessions.
Within just three years, Coach Vee began witnessing real results: marriages and long-term relationships forming within her circle, which sparked the idea of turning her passion into a profession. She went on to earn her matchmaking certification from the Global Love Institute in New York, where she studied the science behind human connection and learned how to build and run a matchmaking business.
As she steadily grew her client base, Coach Vee also became a familiar face in the local media, appearing on television as a dating coach and currently hosting her own radio show on DZMM.
With over a decade of experience helping people find meaningful relationships, we asked Coach Vee for her take on the local dating scene and how it has evolved over the years, shaping the way Filipinos approach love, dating, and long-term commitment today.
“It’s very different. There’s so much noise now,” she said. “Before, you tended to marry somebody who's just your neighbor, your churchmate, or a common friend, because those were your only options. There were dating sites then, but it's not as big as now, where people can just open it like a social media app.”
“When we had fewer options, we tended to be more appreciative of who's in front of us. Right now, we tend to go for the moon because our options are not only our neighbors, friends, friends of friends, or people we meet at the bar. They could be international people. Because of dating apps, you can access men and women from America, Europe, and other parts of the world. So dating is harder now because we are not only competing against our neighbors but the rest of the world.”
As to why having more options makes dating more challenging, Coach Vee explained further, “There's a paradox where in the more options you have, the more the brain gets overwhelmed. And how many people do you see on dating apps? How many options do you have? The danger of dating apps is that it gives people an illusion that they have 500 or 1,000 matches. That is an illusion because those people do not really desire you or are going to be your suitor. They are just matches.”
While dating apps can make it easier to meet people, especially with platforms now offering advanced search tools to connect you with matches nearby, Coach Vee reminds us that a truly successful relationship still comes down to connection and intention.
“A dating app is not a dating app. It is an introduction app, and should be used accordingly. You introduce each other, and then you should set up an in-person date because that’s when you get to see their vibe. It’s okay to flirt, but also reserve some for in-person because when you stay on the app too long, the communication fizzles out.”
Coach Vee also reminded us that although dating apps are meant to help, it’s also a business. While online dating platforms claim to help you meet your true love, they may hold back from using the algorithm to keep people subscribing to the app.
This is also one of the main reasons Coach Vee decided to establish her own coaching business, offering people a more organic and intentional way to find their match.
Matchmaking in Manila
As a science-backed dating coach, Coach Vee leans on data and real-life observations to help people find meaningful connections. While dating has changed a lot with technology, she said the core wants of people looking for serious relationships haven’t shifted that much — except that standards, especially for women, are now much higher.
“For many women, I’ve seen that they’re no longer dating for survival. Before, they would marry somebody financially stable so they could raise a decent family. Now, the standards are over the roof, because women can feed themselves, buy their own house, and fund their shopping sprees. So now, they’re asking the men, 'What else can you offer?'”
On the flip side, Coach Vee points out that men today are also finding it harder to navigate modern dating.
“It’s harder because there’s so much noise that sometimes you can’t pinpoint who’s there for something casual or who’s offering genuine love. Also, with women rising in ranks and being more educated, men’s expectations have also become higher. It's especially hard if they’re (men) not into self-development. If they haven’t figured out their finances, their self-care, or they’re not building anything, they are also less likely to get a very good woman.”
If you’ve ever wondered what men and women are really looking for in a partner, Coach Vee shares a few relationship coaching insights based on years of research and hands-on coaching. When it comes to men, some of the most sought-after traits include agreeableness, playfulness, youth — whether that’s age or simply a youthful vibe — along with loyalty and femininity. Women, on the other hand, tend to prioritize financial stability, emotional and mental security, and a certain level of physical attraction.
Interestingly, these preferences haven’t changed much across generations. According to Coach Vee, that’s largely because they’re rooted in biology — men are often drawn to partners they see as capable of raising children, while women look for men with the resources and stability to help build a family.
“Even if we already have all these materials in the world, we’re still going back to the basics, like, 'Who would be a partner who can raise children well and who can protect them, my legacy, and my lineage?' That’s why we’re still looking for the same things. It’s just that we have more layers now,” she said.
To help people meet these evolving “layers,” Coach Vee founded Matchmaking Manila, a bespoke matchmaking service designed to pair clients with partners who meet their standards — and whose standards they also meet in return. Her approach goes beyond simply finding a match. At the core of her program is self-development, which means clients also go through training as part of the process. For example, if a foreign male client wants to date a Filipina, Coach Vee may require him to take a cultural intelligence course that covers Filipino dating norms, including traditional courtship.
Through this process, she emphasizes that meaningful relationships start from within. “We need to be on track when it comes to how you can live your life better, not only when it comes to your partner, but in general. So self-development is actually key to our programs.”
Matchmaking Manila’s packages typically run between 12 to18 months and are built around compatibility. Coach Vee carefully considers each client’s personality, lifestyle, goals, and cultural needs before making introductions with people who are genuinely aligned. While the investment may be on the higher side — around US$300 for an initial consultation — it’s a price many are willing to pay for clearer direction, stronger self-awareness, and a more intentional approach to dating.
After all the talk about intention, compatibility, and self-work, it’s only natural to wonder where dating apps fit into the picture. According to Coach Vee, they’re not the villain many people make them out to be, but they’re not a one-size-fits-all solution either. Dating apps can be useful tools for meeting new people, but only up to a point.
“Dating apps work if it’s for you. There’s a certain type of personality that dating apps are serving. If you are a written communication person, you’re going to do well. If you are a photogenic person, you’re going to do well. If you’re not a very good text communicator or would rather talk in person, it’s not going to fly because people on dating apps would spend days, weeks, and months communicating before setting a date.”
For those who are serious about finding love but feel burnt out by endless swiping, or feel a little hesitant about reaching out to a professional matchmaker, Coach Vee offers a simple but powerful place to start: look inward first. Her advice focuses less on chasing a relationship and more on building a life that naturally attracts the right person.
“Ask yourself: 'What will make [my] heart flutter?' That’s the biggest indicator. What excites you? What’s your calling? For example, your calling is helping people. Be bold. Start or join charity activities where you invite people or ask your friends to invite people they think would be interested. Because at the end of the day, we meet our potential partners through common friends or through ‘reto’ (an informal arrangement where a family or friend recommends someone to another person in Filipino dating culture). So do things that you love because it makes you happy. And when you have that, you’d look vibrant and energetic. If you’re feeling hopeless, it’s because you’re not doing something that excites you.”
Beyond putting yourself out there, Coach Vee also stresses that dating requires real intention. Many people, she said, remain single not because there’s a lack of options, but because they’re not fully ready to do the work that comes with being in a relationship. Developing relational skills — like listening, compromising, and letting someone in — can be especially challenging for those who have been single for a long time and have grown used to doing things on their own.
For singles navigating the dating scene, her message is refreshingly reassuring. Dating, after all, isn’t a race.
“Celebrate it. Enjoy it and enjoy meeting people, because the moment you meet the love of your life, it’s different. You have to be loyal to that person. So while you can get to know ten people right now, do it. Because there is somebody for everybody.”
If you want to learn more about how matchmaking works today, you can check Matchmaking Manila’s official website here. For more modern dating stories and insights, you can follow Coach Vee on Facebook, TikTok, and Instagram.
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