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What can we take from the wisdom of our ancestors? Author Michelle Bang dives deep into the traditions of her native South Korea and discovers the secrets that have been passed down from generation to generation. Through her travels and interactions with the community, Michelle reconnects with the customs that have shaped her years, ultimately recording all that she’s seen and heard in a new book entitled “Sun and Ssukgat: The Korean Art of Self-Care, Wellness, and Longevity.” 

Today, The Beat Asia talks to the author and entrepreneur about what she’s learned and how these ideas have helped shape her philosophy and overall lifestyle. 

 When did you realize that you wanted to prioritize wellbeing?

“I was in Hong Kong, and I had just launched my dream social impact startup, melding all the things I was really passionate about, which were sustainable fashion and social impact. It experienced tremendous growth, we were winning a lot of awards and major contracts. I was very passionate about what I was doing – so passionate that I wasn’t taking care of myself.  I was working around the clock, had a team around different time zones, and was just too busy to sleep, too busy to eat. In the middle of all that success, I landed in the emergency room for the first time in my life. It was very much like a night and day experience, you know, me ‘before the hospital’ and me ‘after the hospital.’”

 ”After I came home from the hospital, I was very ill constantly. I couldn't sit down for a meal without pain. And it was really taking over my life. I realized that this had been brewing for a long time; my body was screaming that I needed to do something to make it better. Ultimately, that experience led me down this path.”

How did you learn about the techniques that you published in your book?

“By way of background, I'm a Korean-American, so I represent an East-West upbringing. I also grew up in a world of East-West medicine because while my father is a U.S.-based doctor, he trained at the top medical school in Korea, which is Seoul National University’s College of Medicine.”

 ”He exposed me very early on to the practical and holistic applications of medicine, which I ended up realizing is very much deeply embedded within Korean culture. Later, I married into a traditional Chinese family that embodied these traditions which have been passed down generationally.”

“After my experience at the hospital, I began to take some steps to formalize this knowledge. I underwent training for two certifications: one for functional foods and another for holistic preventative care.” 

I heard that your travels also inspired you to learn more about the culture.

“That’s true. South Korea is expected to top the longevity rates in 2030, but Hong Kong has been at the top alongside China, Japan, Singapore, and Macau for some time. I really wanted to go and see for myself what the data was saying.”

“In Asia, I began walking on the beach every morning and started encountering a lot of individuals who were doing very interesting things like cold water swimming in the open ocean. Some grandmothers were doing different activities that we typically reserve for younger people in the US, such as walking in public parks, hiking, and doing chin-ups on monkey bars. A lot of these older individuals are really strong, oftentimes with wrinkle-free skin, and I just started approaching them really curious about what they were doing. I asked about what they were eating, what they were doing to stay so vibrant.”

What is the difference between the Eastern and Western approach to health?

“During my training for Eastern medicine, I learned about the idea that we're connected to the environment and the universe. Now, I believe in an integrative approach. It's the idea that everything is interconnected.”

“ In Korea, there is the concept of jung, and it's very much attached to their wellness, that wellness is cemented by community. Jung is a Korean word that translates to deep relationships, kindness, compassion, and community.  And it’s apparent in Eastern medicine that this kind of interconnectedness is present even in one’s body; that your brain and emotions can manifest into the physical.” 

“In Western medicine, we are often treated for very specific causes, but in Eastern medicine, we often look at the root cause. This could mean looking into your personal history or what you’ve eaten.”

What did you find most interesting about your discoveries?

“It’s interesting because new science is actually only now catching up with the old wisdom. So, for example, the microbiome is becoming a really important concept in the field of wellness.  Even just recently, a study was published on the fact that we have a microbiome in our brains. And we didn't know that before, but all of this knowledge is supported by the traditions of Korean Buddhist nuns or haenyeo female freedivers.”

“For example, for the Buddhist nuns, they practice what is called ‘temple food.’ They saute their food, or blanche it in order to retain the color and nutrients of their food. They add fermented condiments, which up the nutrition and help maintain friendly bacteria. They live mindfully and are very conscious of the ingredients they use.”

Why is this project so important to you?

“I wanted to preserve this wisdom that I was starting to see fade away in the modern world. There’s social impact behind these messages because 70% of chronic illnesses are estimated by the World Health Organization to be preventable with lifestyle changes.”

“There is also plenty about our diet that people may not know about. In the US, we focus on three major crops: wheat, rice, and corn. But there's over 300,000 edible plants in the world, and so much of that is wasted.”

What does self-care mean to you?

“ So often in the modern world, we're equating self-care to external beauty. But it's really about all the tiny little things that you can do to take care of yourself and your body. Self-care is calling a friend, taking a walk outside, eating fruit.”

“ Looking away from my computer is self-care for me. I’ll take deep breaths to de-stress, oxygenate my body, and energize myself. There are many little examples like that, that I feel like I used to discount, but are actually easy to do and really important.”

Connect with Michelle and purchase her book here 

Picture this: it’s a special day (could be Valentine’s Day, your anniversary, birthday), and your partner gives you a bouquet of yellow roses. It could be one of your favorite flowers or could just be what your partner thought looked the prettiest out of the rest. They look like a romantic gift — until you find out that in Japan’s Hanakotoba, they could mean “jealousy or a fading love,” while in Victorian England Floriography, they mean “friendship and joy.” 

So, you’re met with a misunderstanding. What did your partner mean by this? Do they know what those flowers mean? 

Flowers have always carried hidden meanings, shaped friendships, love stories, and even caused heartbreaks across different cultures. In Japan, Hanakotoba flourished as a way to express emotions without words, while during the Victorian Era, Floriography became the secret language of lovers. With this in mind, do you think those two flower languages mean the same thing? What do your favorite flowers really mean, and could you have possibly been giving mixed signals since then? 

Let’s explore the world of Hanakotoba and Floriography and learn the meanings of some common flowers — to make sure you’re choosing the right flowers in the future. 

Hanakotoba and Floriography: What Are They?

Hanakotoba, when directly translated, means “flower words.” It’s a language that gives symbolic meaning to flowers and their colors to make their emotions known in a subtle manner, especially in a society that values indirect communication. Without the use of words, people use flowers to confess their love, express gratitude and happiness, and even sorrow. 

This can be seen in several aspects of Japanese culture, extending beyond personal relationships and influencing literature, art, poetry, and anime. For example, in one scene in the anime “Tokyo Ghoul,” flowers were used to signal the change in a character’s disposition. From white carnations, symbolizing purity, the flowers turn into red spider lilies. In Japanese culture and hanakotoba, a red spider lily means “never to meet again” and is referred to as the “flower of death.” Poetic, right?

Floriography, on the other hand, is a coded language where flowers and colors are given meaning. The use of this language coincided with a growing interest in botany during the 19th century, and Victorians used this in their flowers, plants, and floral arrangements to send messages, court potential brides, and romantic feelings that cannot be said aloud, due to strict social etiquette. 

If you were wondering where the concept of bouquets came from, Victorian England was when it all started. Lovers would exchange carefully arranged bouquets called “talking bouquets,” “tussie-mussies,” or “nosegays” to send coded messages. A red rose means “passionate love,” but when you pair it with a basil, which means “hatred,” it could be an insult. 

The two languages, despite being from different parts of the world, share one common thread: using flowers to express what words cannot. 

Common Flowers in Bouquets and What They Mean in Hanakotoba and Floriography

Flowers are usually chosen for their beauty, but their meanings vary depending on cultural traditions. Here are some of the most common flowers found in romantic flower arrangements and bouquets — and what they symbolize in Hanakotoba (Japan) and Floriography (Victorian England). 

Red Rose

In Hanakotoba: Love, In love, Passion

In Victorian Floriography: Romantic love, Desire

White Rose

In Hanakotoba: Innocence, Devotion, Silence, “I am worthy of you.”

In Victorian Floriography: Secrecy, New Beginnings

Pink Rose

In Hanakotoba: Trust, Happiness, Confidence

In Victorian Floriography: Grace, Appreciation

Yellow Rose

In Hanakotoba: Jealousy, a Fading Love, Friendship

In Victorian Floriography: Friendship, Joy

Red Tulip

In Hanakotoba: Wishing Someone Fame, Charity, Trust

In Victorian Floriography: A declaration of love

Yellow Tulip

In Hanakotoba: One-sided Love

In Victorian Floriography: Hopeless Love, Cheerfulness

Pink Tulip

In Hanakotoba: Caring, Attachment, Happiness

In Victorian Floriography: Love, Affection

Red Carnation

In Hanakotoba: Deep Love, Admiration

In Victorian Floriography: Admiration, Affection, “My heart aches for you.”

White Carnation

In Hanakotoba: Pure Love, Good Luck

In Victorian Floriography: Sweet and Innocent Love

Pink Carnation

In Hanakotoba: A Mother’s Love, “I will never forget you.”

In Victorian Floriography: A Mother’s Love, Admiration

White Daisy

In Hanakotoba: Faithfulness, Trust, Innocence, Beauty

In Victorian Floriography: Innocence, Purity, New Beginnings

White Lily

In Hanakotoba: Purity, Chastity, Mourning, Majesty

In Victorian Floriography: Virginity, Virtue

Sunflower

In Hanakotoba: Adoration, Respect, Passionate Love, Radiance, Loyalty

In Victorian Floriography: Adoration, Loyalty

Baby’s Breath

In Hanakotoba: Everlasting love, Innocence

In Victorian Floriography: Purity, Sincerity, Everlasting Love

Red/Pink Peony

In Hanakotoba: Good Fortune, Happy Marriage

In Victorian Floriography: Bashfulness, Prosperity

Choosing the Right Flowers

Giving flowers has always been an enduring gesture, but without knowing their meanings, you might be inadvertently sending the wrong message. A yellow rose might seem like a happy choice, but in Hanakotoba, it could mean your love is fading. A white lily may be a symbol of purity to one, but it can also mean that you’re grieving. 

The meanings of flowers may have evolved over time, but combining Hanakotoba and floriography can still add a personalized touch to floral designs. Understanding these meanings can help create a more intentional gift for your partner, whether you’re choosing a bouquet for a romantic confession, a heartfelt apology, or a simple “thank you” gift. 

So, how can you choose the perfect flowers for the right occasion? Here are some tips to make sure your bouquet says exactly what you mean. 

Consider the Person You’re Giving and the Occasion.

For your significant other? Just stick to the classics: red roses and pink tulips.

For a friend? Sunflowers and yellow roses are your best bet. 

For condolences? White lilies and chrysanthemums are what you should give. 

Careful with the Colors!

Keep this in mind: red for romance, pink for platonic love, yellow shouldn’t be seen in romantic bouquets, and white for gratitude, but also mourning for some. 

You Can Mix and Match, But Pay Attention to Flower Combinations

If one of the flowers could mean something uncomfortable, you can balance it out with other flowers or with greenery! 

In Floriography, flower pairings add layers to the meaning of the flower arrangement. An example would be pairing red roses and white lilies, together, they mean love and purity — that’s perfect for weddings. 

Flowers have always been more than beautiful decorations — they have served as messengers of words unsaid, strong feelings of love, sorrow, and even secrets. Through Hanakotoba and Victorian floriography, people have been able to express their feelings and get their words across. 

By learning and considering the meanings of these flowers, your floral gifts become more thoughtful. Now, knowing these hidden meanings, what do you want your ideal bouquet to say?

When it comes to love, actions speak louder than words. It may be a universal language but the way people express it varies across cultures. Just take Asia, which has some of the world’s most unique love rituals deeply rooted in tradition and its diverse customs. 

From unique courting practices to symbolic wedding rites, these traditions offer a glimpse into how love is celebrated across the continent. Whether you’re a hopeless romantic or cultural enthusiast, here are some enchanting romance rituals from Asia that might just inspire your next grand romantic gesture. 

Harana (The Philippines)

When Selena Gomez said, “I love you like a love song,” Filipinos know well how true that is as one of their long-standing courtship rituals is the “Harana.” In a country big on music and where singing is a "national pastime," it only makes sense that the best way to woo someone is by serenading them with heartfelt songs. 

During a Harana, a suitor would usually come up to the woman’s house with a guitar (and backup singers if you want to gain more points for this performance) and stand outside — usually by her window — to sing her love songs. If the woman steps outside to listen or even sings along, then we can consider the courtship a success. If the windows or door remain closed, however, let’s just say the suitor will be walking home to a few heartbreak songs.

Merisik (Malaysia)

“Knowing me, knowing you” as the song goes but in Malay culture, pursuing a serious relationship — and by serious we mean “marriage serious” — the very first step is attending a meeting called, “Merisik.” 

The word means “spying” but it is really more like a surveying custom where the families of the couple learn more about each other’s backgrounds. Merisik is usually carried out by the young man’s parents or relatives who informally inquire about the girl’s agreement to the intended marriage and seek consent from her parents. We think it’s a reasonable practice considering marriage is serious business and getting to know one’s family is vital. After all, you’re not just marrying a person, you’re marrying into each other’s families, too. 

The Ball Toss Tradition (Several Parts of Southeast Asia)

The Hmong people have a fascinating — and dare we say adorable courtship tradition involving a ball called, “Pov Pob.” During the New Year festivities, teenage boys and girls would stand in line and throw balls at each other while engaging in conversation. 

It’s a fun way for singles to express their interest, get to know each other, and form bonds which may eventually lead to marriage. Talk about shooting your shot (literally)! 

The Water-Pouring Ceremony (Thailand)

Also known as “Rod Nam Sang,” this rite is probably the most iconic part of a traditional Thai wedding. The act involves the newlyweds kneeling before their parents who then pour scented water over their hands from a conch. This is a sacred act that symbolizes the couple’s gratitude and respect for their parents and demonstrates filial piety. 

Afterward, each guest offers blessings and good wishes for the couple's bright future. There’s also a tradition that states that if the couple has unmarried older siblings, drinking the water from the conch can bring luck in finding a marriage partner. 

Qixi Festival (Hong Kong and Mainland China)

Also known as Chinese Valentine’s Day, the Qixi Festival is celebrated on the seventh day of the seventh month of the lunar calendar. The name means “Evening of Sevens Festival” and is deeply rooted in a popular Chinese folktale: the romantic legend of Zhinu and Niulang.

The folktale narrates the story of the goddess Zhinu, the seventh daughter of the Jade Emperor, who grew tired of her life in the celestial realm and came down to earth and fell for the mortal Niulang, a humble cowherd. When Zhinu’s mother, the goddess of Heaven, discovered their relationship, she separated the lovers by creating a vast celestial river between them which was later known as the Milky Way. Moved by the lovers’ forbidden romance, a flock of magpies formed a bridge over the river so that Niulang and Zhinu could meet, creating the “Magpie Bridge.” The goddess was touched and had a change of heart, eventually allowing the lovers to meet at the bridge once a year on the day the festival is celebrated for all of eternity (aww).

Chinese people would celebrate this day by stargazing and searching for stars Vega and Altair which represents the star-crossed lovers. Much like the Western romantic holiday, couples would exchange gifts, perform elaborate gestures, and spend the day with each other. The streets of Hong Kong are filled with activity too, from laser light shows to dance performances.

Like in any Chinese celebration, food plays a huge role. Qiaoguo, a sweet and crispy pastry with a sesame flavor, is a popular treat for the holiday. Other traditional dishes shared during this time are cloud noodles, sugar shaped like women and other characters from the legend, and dumplings.  

White Day (South Korea, Japan, and China)

If the number of successful K-Dramas has anything to say, it’s that South Korea takes romance very seriously. From love locks on a tower to romantic beliefs like seeing the first snowfall with someone means you’re meant to be together forever, South Korea knows how to tickle our romantic fancies. 

One of their unique customs is called, “White Day,” which is celebrated a month after Valentine’s Day on Mar. 14, and is the so-called “Reverse Valentine’s Day.” On Feb. 14, men are usually the recipients of gifts like chocolates and sweets from women. A month later, they are encouraged to return these romantic gestures. Many celebrities, male K-Pop idol group members in particular, would usually post selfies with flowers or chocolates that thrill their female fans.

The celebration originated in the late 1970s when the Japanese candy industry introduced the concept of “Marshmallow Day,” which was meant to encourage men to return the romantic gestures of women who had given them gifts on Valentine’s Day. This concept quickly gained popularity and evolved into what is now known as “White Day.” The romantic holiday is also celebrated in Japan and China, and though not explicitly explained, is a nice representation of how relationships should be: an act of give and take.  

ICYDK, South Korea also has a similar event to Valentine’s Day called “Pepero Day” where people engage in gifting or exchanging Pepero snacks, Lotte’s popular chocolate-covered pretzel stick. It’s celebrated every Nov. 11 because the numbered date resembles Pepero sticks in a pack (11/11). With how popular the gesture has become, it’s now the biggest annual marketing day for the confectionery company.