This SG Support Group Encourages Men to Redefine Masculinity
Sad as it is to admit, toxic masculinity is a universal experience. Men and women are both victims of outdated, misogynistic views that perpetuate harmful behaviors; sadly, in Singapore, things are no different. Despite its urban landscapes and cosmopolitan lifestyle, Singaporeans remain relatively conservative, with traditional views shaping much of its citizens’ lifestyles. Among these traditional views is the institutionalization of a heteronormative family structure, which is closely linked to notions of societal progress.
“In Singapore, traditional masculinity is closely linked to economic growth and productivity,” shared Hafeez Hassan, fitness coach, personal trainer, and the founder of The Brothers Circle.
“The masculine experience and connection are often centered around the pursuit of achieving or producing tangible results through hard work and dedication,” he added.
This view has caused traditional heteronormative values to become deeply embedded in both public and private aspects of Singaporean society; expectations for both men and women have become clearly defined, placing plenty of pressure on both parties. Here, men are expected to provide for the family and embody “male” traits such as strength, assertiveness, stoicism, and dominance.
Yet, problems arise as people are expected to face life’s challenges without sharing their struggles, prioritizing results over well-being. All this pressure has manifested in both an identity crisis and a mental health crisis. In fact, in 2022, two-thirds of all suicide deaths in Singapore were attributed to male victims.
“It’s hard to generalize the topics as they are very diverse. One thing for sure I can share is that it’s always related to stress,” noted Hafeez.
This is among the handful of reasons that Hafeez founded The Brothers Circle, a male support group and community of men who aim to redefine masculinity, get in touch with their authentic selves, and offer support to fellow brothers. At first, Hafeez had simply wanted a space to connect with like-minded men and to learn more about diverse perspectives on life.
“Little did I realize that this unique gathering could offer profound healing!” he smiled.
“Singapore is a collectivist country and so often feel as if who they or how they present themselves is representative of their entire family or community,” Hafeez explained in a previous interview. “So it’s very hard for men to do what they want or be authentic. Some have difficulty in following their own career path or spiritual beliefs. Some gay men also find it difficult to step out of the closet.”
Due to these difficulties, male support groups have become a burgeoning community in Singapore. At The Brothers Circle, Hafeez and other community members offer meditation classes, movement classes, and gatherings where men can share their stories in a safe and comfortable environment. For many, this type of support is a breath of fresh air and is a step away from the pressure they feel to conform to stereotypes.
“In my opinion, the most prevalent issue [men deal with] is discomfort with one’s own skin,” shared Hafeez. “The most effective approach to addressing this issue is to identify the childhood experiences that instilled a sense of safety and build upon those foundations.”
Hafeez’ approach to tackling such discomfort is comprehensive and encompasses mental, physical, and emotional aspects. “I believe that men, in general, recognize that help is always available; it's just a matter of searching for it online,” he mused. “The real question lies in whether we truly want to be held accountable and how competent the person responsible for that help is. It’s a complex issue, which is why I always circle back to the concept of well-being. Focusing on our well-being is the best and simplest path forward! When we prioritize our health, we naturally tend to make healthier choices in life, setting us on a positive trajectory towards fulfillment and growth.”
Everyone is welcome to join The Brothers Circle; the group mostly connects with each other online and sporadically organizes physical meetups. An upcoming “circle” will gather in February 2025; needless to say, people who are interested in getting in touch with themselves and with others are more than welcome to join. Because while the problem of toxic masculinity has yet to be solved – requiring “legislative changes and cultural mindset shifts” – it’s at least comforting to know that steps are being taken to care for those who need it.
Connect with The Brothers Circle online
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