Pocketing? Orbiting? Modern Dating Terms You Oughta Know in 2023

Only the naive would think dating these days would be kind to them. The dating scene is a war zone, and it pays to be prepared. If you're in the single blessedness camp and would rather watch from the sidelines – cheers to you – but for those who are ready to jump into modern dating, you've got to play the game or risk getting played.

Times have changed and with the advent and popularity of online dating, you'll be encountering terms and experiences you've probably never heard of or found yourself in. To keep you updated and prepared, here's a lexical guide on some modern dating terms you oughta know in this day and age. Best of luck!

Ghosting

You've probably heard of this one, but to serve as a refresher, ghosting is when someone suddenly ends all communication with you with no explanation, hence "ghost." Were you left seen-zoned for weeks? No replies to your texts? Your entire Telegram chat deleted? Best to accept they've disappeared on you. You just got ghosted!

Zombie-ing

If ghosting is the disappearing act, zombie-ing is the opposite. Just as how zombies rise from the dead, zombie-ing happens when a person who has ghosted you randomly returns to your life as if nothing ever happened. This is nothing short of cruel and we recommend blocking them permanently.

Breadcrumbing

Breadcrumbing puts you in a loop by giving you crumbs. Sending flirty messages with no follow-through, people who breadcrumb are non-committal and give mixed, hot and cold signals to keep you wanting enough to be desperately waiting for the next crumb. Our responsorial psalm: block them!

Situationship

Now how did we get here? It's not a friendship but it's not a romantic relationship either. Situationships happen when two people act as if they are dating or are together but are not committed to each other due to various reasons. This may be due to emotional unavailability, unresolved trauma, being too busy with other life things, and more. It's the quintessential ambiguous and undefined "no labels" set-up.

The downside? If you play with fire, you're bound to get burned. If you enter a situationship, you must tread carefully and be clear about both of your expectations. This can go wrong terribly.

Love Bombing

Love bombing is a manipulation tactic and happens not just in relationships and dating, but also in friendships. It is a form of emotional abuse and is used by narcissists and abusive people who shower their partners with attention, affection, and grand gestures, so they can win their trust and be able to manipulate them later on.

Pocketing

So, you're finally dating someone or in a new relationship. Is your partner pocketing you? Also called "stashing," pocketing happens when your partner keeps you hidden from their family and friends by, basically, keeping you stashed away or pocketed. Being pocketed isn't always a cause for alarm; it may be that your partner just isn't ready yet to introduce you to their loved ones due to the newness of your relationship or timing. It's best to have an honest talk with your partner about this so no resentment is harbored.

Haunting

Still poking around your ex's social media accounts? Stop it. Haunting is a trend wherein you snoop online on your ex or someone you used to date. You may not be talking anymore, but there you are still, checking their Facebook for their latest posts and Instagram for their stories. If someone has ghosted you but still keeps tabs on your social media, that, too, is considered haunting.

Orbiting

Orbiting is similar to haunting. The term was coined by Anna Iovine for Repeller in April 2018 and pertains to the act of keeping someone "in their orbit." Perhaps you have an ex-fling or date you no longer speak to, but they still keep you in their orbit by watching your stories, liking your posts, and sometimes maybe even commenting on them. You can easily solve this by being clear about your boundaries and blocking them permanently.

Wokefishing

Ever heard of or been wokefished? Wokefishing is a dating trend where someone puts on a front and pretends to be more progressive or "woke" than they actually are to attract potential partners. Like catfishing, you pretend to be someone you're not. The term "wokefishing" was coined by Serena Smith for Vice in July 2020 and wrote, "If a dude describes himself on Hinge as a 'feminist,' pay close attention to how he actually treats women."

Soft Launching

So, you're in new relationship bliss. Good for you (no, seriously). Are you ready to go public with your partner? If the answer is no, that’s fine. People soft launch their new SOs for a reason. Soft launching is when you ambiguously hint at a relationship or having a special someone in your life, but not fully revealing their identity. This includes but is not limited to posting low-profile photos of your partner with their face blurred or hidden, two coffee mugs, each other's hands clasped together, and sunset shots with your backs to the camera, among other things.