Why are we still so afraid to talk about sex in Hong Kong? It’s a question that sexual educator and wellness practitioner Vera Lui has been asking for over a decade.

As the co-founder of Sally Coco, an intimate lifestyle store that has grown into a sex-positive community space, Vera is one of the city’s leading voices in sexual wellness and empowerment. She also championed the Women’s Festival at Eaton Workshop in 2018, Hong Kong's first annual festival celebrating the power and complexity of women.

Her YouTube channel Sally’s Toy has racked up over 22 million views and 106K subscribers, offering everything from sex toy reviews to real talk about intimacy and desire, injected with Vera’s refreshing sense of humor and candor.

Drawing from her storied career, Vera brings unique expertise to the frequent workshops she hosts, which blend counselling with sexuality education to inform and empower each individual.

Vera was recently invited to speak at Asia Society's Women’s Health in Focus Summit last June, where she continued to inspire many women to embrace intimacy, self-love, and pleasure without shame.

The Beat Asia caught up with Vera to chat about her mission to promote sexual wellness in Hong Kong.

How did it feel to be participating in Asia's first summit dedicated to women's health?

I was really excited! I haven't seen this happen in Hong Kong before, and I've been in the women's empowerment field for quite some time, so it's amazing that there was a summit focused on women's health.

The Women’s Health in Focus Summit has a focus on femtech. Can you share more about your brand Sally Coco and how it aligns with femtech?

Sally Coco is Hong Kong's first sex-positive intimate lifestyle store, and we focus on raising awareness of sex education and intimate care — basically, what a woman is going through in life, but intimately.

In our shop, we have different kinds of products that are more focused on women's health, like the LV Kegel exerciser, which is focused on women's pelvic floor training. We treasure women's health and their mental health and advocate for their identity as well as their sexuality.

Can you tell us about your brand Sally Coco?

I grew up here in Hong Kong. When I was growing up, there wasn’t much sexuality education. When I started learning more about it, I realized that no one ever told me about female pleasure or anatomy, or how to take care of ourselves intimately.

It was out of this personal necessity and curiosity. I wanted to know more, and as I learned more, I also brought more people along with me to learn more about this topic, and that’s how the business came to be.

How do you develop your products at Sally Coco?

We are retailers and we import our products from different brands.

A lot of people think our store is very sexy and product-based; however, what I’ve found out in the past 15 years is that the support we give them is the essence of our product. It’s not just a transaction, it's a transformation.

We recently held workshops with a physiotherapist, to educate about pelvic floor training and the release of sexual pain. It was a good turnout because a lot of people struggle with those issues.

What's the meaning behind the name Sally Coco?

When I was growing up, I didn't have anyone to talk to about sexuality, and I didn't learn from anyone. So when we first started, I created this fictional figure called Sally, who is like a big sister you can talk to about these topics. Coco is the more adventurous side of her.

I always say to my colleagues when they come on board that every one of us is Sally. Sally’s character and personality are shaped by how we support our clients.

Why is it so important to educate people on sex? Does it affect other people other wellness aspects?

I think the mindset in Hong Kong is very narrow. If they can expand their horizons and see from different perspectives, they can release themselves from the suffering that they have with their own identity. I think the reason why they struggle is because they can’t see from a different perspective.

Personally, in my philosophy, sexual wellness is not just about the genitals — it’s holistic. When you think about your own sexuality, it's about identity, gender, how you see yourself and your body, and how you communicate your needs to others.

Sexuality is a mind and body connection. These soft skills can be applied to everyday life. If someone can feel good about themselves and their body, they’ll have more confidence, and if they can communicate their needs, they can also use these skills and apply them to their everyday life. The things you learn in sexuality education are not just about sex. It's about how you are as a person.

How has Sally Coco evolved since you first launched it?

When I first started Sally Coco, I always thought that sexuality education was about teaching people about the anatomy of the body and how to achieve pleasure.

But as I talked to clients along the way about their struggles with their sexuality, I found that if you want to have a holistic well-being in the sexual wellness field, you need tosupport that person as a whole.

So now my approach is more comprehensive and holistic. When my clients come and talk to us, we don't just say: this is the product for you. We will explore: What is their perspective on sex? Why does she think that way? Why is she struggling? What education did she have in the past? And as we dig deeper, we'll find out more about the psychological side of things and be able to truly help them.

Were there any setbacks or challenges you faced when you started the brand?

So many! When you talk about sexuality in Hong Kong, you're not just fighting how society thinks about sex; you’re also fighting how the meta-algorithm thinks about sex.

The rent is really high in Hong Kong, so we're also struggling with that.

And I got into an industry that is really taboo and biased. I've never felt any kind of discrimination in Hong Kong, but after I got into this field, I felt a lot of discrimination. Public insults are another thing we have to deal with, because when I talk about sex online, people have a lot of comments on what a woman should do in public.

Do you think some Asian women still find it difficult to talk about their sexual needs?

It's getting better, but there is still a lot of stigma. It's not just about how society thinks; it’s also about how your household raised you as a woman, and how your personal experience has shaped you.

Even though I've been doing this for 15 years, I still meet people who have difficulty talking about their sexual needs or establishing their own boundaries and finding a lover who can truly respect them without sacrificing their own needs. So I think there's still a lot of room to work on these things.

What do you think are the most common misconceptions around sex?

If I can only say one, I think it’s the misconception that when you are with someone, you need to sacrifice yourself. That’s the concept we were raised on as Chinese women: that you need to sacrifice yourself for the family.

When you’re growing up, you're always in pleasing mode. You need to please your parents, your teachers, etc. Then, when you get into an intimate relationship, you don't know how to stay true to yourself.

All the problems of one’s sexuality can be traced back to giving and receiving in a relationship. The first step is that women don't know what their needs are, they're not honest with themselves, or they have never explored that part of their desire.

Secondly, women also neglect their own needs once they're with a partner. Either that or they don't know how to communicate, and they boil up inside.

How does Sally Coco help with these issues?

Our community is very strong. We have videos on social media to raise awareness about understanding your own needs and talking about them.

I also share my own personal struggles so people can resonate with them and know that there's another person who is also like that, who has come this far.

Offline, we do workshops and events to create a community that can support each other.

I think community building is very important. We provide a very safe space for different genders to come and express themselves authentically and explore their own identity.

You've spoken a lot about supporting women's wellness. How does your overall wellness approach at Sally Coco embrace the LGBTQIA+ community?

We are an inclusive environment, so everyone can come. I’m bisexual and really active in the LGBTQ community. We tailor-make workshops, and we hold celebrations in our store every Pride Month. Fundamentally, we provide a judgment-free environment; we receive whoever comes and we don’t label anyone.

You have a new book coming out soon, what can you tell us about it?

"A Place for Pleasure, A Space for Healing" is 25 intimate stories about Hong Kong people and their struggles.

When the book comes out in July, we're going to have a mini exhibition in our store. The stories in the book happened in our store, so at each corner we're going to have a little exhibit to show you how the story came to life.

These are the stories that shaped my philosophy and how I think about these topics. I hope that by reading the book, people can see a different perspective and free themselves. That’s the key because the learning I got from those stories freed me, and I would hope that after they read it, they can free themselves too.

We are trapped by our own thoughts and our own limited knowledge. So if we can expand the knowledge, then we won't feel as trapped and know there are different ways to approach life.

What's next for you and Sally Coco?

I'll still keep doing what I do. This is my life purpose: to continue to care and support the Hong Kong community or whoever needs us.

For more information, visit Sally Coco on their website, Instagram, and Facebook. Check out Vera's YouTube Channel Sally's Toyhere.

Location: Sally Coco | Sally’s Toy, Room 302, 3/F, Winning House, 10-16 Cochrane Street, Central

Opening Hours: Daily from 1 PM to 9 PM