Deo Cabrera: Breaking Barriers through Fashion

In a world that often seems more inclined to judge than to understand, people who are deemed different struggle to find a place where they feel safe and accepted. Despite that, Deo Cabrera stands out by expressing himself through fashion, armed with the courage to be authentic. Dolled up in crop tops, bodycon dresses, and skirts, he has garnered over 134k TikTok followers who love his iconic OOTDs.
In an exclusive interview with The Beat Asia, Deo shares his journey growing as part of the LGBTQIA+ community and how fashion helped him express his true self.
Realizing His Sexual Orientation
“Am I gay?” That was the first thing Deo searched on the Internet when he realized he had feelings for a classmate in high school. As confusing as it was for most people, he wanted to find answers and had ended up diving into the black hole of “coming out stories” on Google and YouTube.
Growing up, Deo was a target for constant bullying. He studied in an all-boys school from prep to 10th grade and often fell victim to fragile egos and toxic masculinity. His experience was unpleasant, to say the very least.
Often called “Bakla (Gay)” and “Barbie,” his schoolmates stayed away from him, so he barely had friends then. Homophobic perceptions even threatened to affect his education – acting femininely was seen as misconduct and he was nearly expelled for having a boyfriend. With his parents and the whole school finding out, the stress pushed Deo to question his identity: "What if straight nalang ako (What if I was straight instead)?"
Overcoming the Challenges
Realizing how harsh the world can be, he joined communities and spaces where could freely express himself. He found friends with other queer students in their school, where he became more exposed to queer culture: Pride marches and drag queens, among others. Much more than that, they found a support system in each other where they talked about the bullying they faced from fellow students and the school admin, which of course, helped them process their feelings toward their traumatic experiences. Deo also started watching YouTube videos from creators like Tyler Oakley, Troye Sivan, and Joey Graceffa, with whom he felt a sense of belonging and relatability.
Coming Out of the Closet
Thankfully, coming out to his parents was never a problem – as for him, the only issue he had to face was him being “OA (Over-acting or overreacting)” throughout the entire process. To be fair, he watched many coming-out stories with divided reactions, so Deo was on the edge and expecting the worst. Like most of the LGBTQIA+ members, he was having the jitters before and during his coming out moment.
A sense of relief washed all over him when his mom laughed at him, saying he was way too nervous to come out when it wasn’t really a big deal if he was gay. Far from what he expected, his family was super chill about it – for them, nothing changed, and they still love him.
Exploring “Girl” Clothes
According to him, fashion wasn’t really a part of his life until recently. Before exploring “girl” clothing, the 22-year-old queer icon used to wear a very basic fit; he would throw on a plain colored shirt, black shorts, and white sneakers and he’s good to go. Now that he discovered his love for all things pretty, his OOTDs (Outfit of the Day videos) garner over a hundred thousand views!
“I honestly don't have a specific style inspiration or style peg but whenever I put an outfit together, I simply want it to look very feminine, pasabog (explosive), and what I like to call 'pokpokang bayan' which is characterized by very short skirts, crop tops, bodycon dresses, etc.,” shared Deo.
Given that the Philippines is still a relatively religious and conservative country, many continue to judge and give Deo strange looks for his outfits. But he believes that fashion is important to the queer community as an avenue for them to express themselves. It doesn’t matter how – the color of one’s shirt to the height of their heels – because it all contributes to their self-expression. And that’s all that matters.
Breaking the Stigma
With more than a hundred thousand followers and counting, Deo uses his platform to promote genderless clothing and break the stigma of “cross-dressing.” How? By simply existing out in public and most especially in school (he studies at De La Salle University now), he challenges the idea that men wearing skirts, crop tops, dresses, and heels is something taboo, something that should be hidden.
There are days when Deo would think of just dressing up in a simple shirt when going out because he doesn’t want to be catcalled and gawked at. Still, he knows doing so would be a disservice to his identity.
“The joy that I get from expressing myself freely through clothing [trumps] any hate that I would receive,” he emphasized.
Deo is also very vocal in calling out schools and individuals who would feature men sporting “girl” clothes for the laughs. He believes that doing this type of what they would call a prank or a theme, reinforces the idea that men who wear dresses, crop tops, skirts, and heels simply do it for the punchline – which is wrong: “My gender expression and existence are not a joke."
Lastly, we asked Deo: If there’s anything he would like to say to his younger self, what would it be?
"Number one, bakla ka. Oo, 'wag ka na mag-search sa Google ng 'How to know if I am gay?' Number two, 'wag ka kabahan sa nanay mo, mahal ka niyan sobra. Number three, kapag nagsisimula ka na bumili ng mga dress at skirt hindi 'baggy,' 'chill,' at 'basic' ang eksena mo; dumeretso ka na sa miniskirt at tube tops! Number four, madami kang mare-receive na hate at kung ano-anong comments tungkol sa pananamit mo at kung sino ka, pero dedma. Kaya mo 'yan (Number one, you're gay. Yes, you are, stop searching 'How to know if I am gay?' in Google. Number two, don't be nervous about your mom, she loves you so much. Number three, when you start buying dresses and skirts, don't go for 'baggy,' 'chill' or 'basic' ones, just buy miniskirts and tube tops! Number four, you'll receive a lot of hate and unsolicited comments about how you dress yourself and who you are, but never mind them. You can do this)," Deo ended.
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